Dating in your forties
The probability of your changing them is pretty low, even if they fall in love with you.It doesn't mean a person cannot or will not stretch, grow, and improve, but expecting that loving them will change the core of who they are is unrealistic AND unfair. Get rid of the "Perfect List.” Be realistic, but don't settle. Don't look for crazy chemistry (again, you're not 20 anymore), look for affection, respect, love, honesty, and someone you can see being your BEST FRIEND and LOVER for the rest of your life.Do you remember when you got married and thought it was going to last forever? And now you may find yourself asking, "What happened"? If you're re-entering the world of dating, like me, you've probably had what I call "dating re-entry culture shock." Don't worry; you're not alone. Those life experiences have changed you, and they've helped mold and shape you into the person you are today.As a widow who's back on the dating scene in my 40s, I'd like to share some lessons I've learned to help you maneuver the unfamiliar and sometimes seemingly shark-infested waters of the dating world. The same is true for everyone out there in the 40-something dating pool. Know that baggage doesn't mean you're doomed, just different. Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." I couldn't agree more! By now, you (along with any prospective date) have been through some things in life.
Katy Regan is a bit fed up with hearing the following from her married mates. Dating in my twenties and thirties made me feel like Odysseus, trying to choose between dashing myself on the ego-bruising rocks of casual romps or a slow death from unrequited lust for garbage humans.There was the ex who brutally dumped me but wouldn't stop emailing me for months, whose presence at dorky work gatherings made me dizzy; the sociopathic film critic whose shoulder I virtually cried on; the go-nowhere first dates; and the great, wide swaths of time spent single, usually pining after some unavailable director or writer who'd relish my attention and nothing else. There were a few things that sent me into a panic about turning 40, but the biggest — looming larger than the golden ring of a book deal or a staff job or, like, finally going back to yoga — was what it meant for me to still be single and actively looking for a partner at that age. If you're not familiar with the exciting world of online dating, sites and apps let you set search parameters that range from location to body type to education and, yes, age range.You may be on the lookout right now, using such successful online dating sites as or e Harmony, through which thousands upon thousands of people have found love. Don’t let yourself be influenced by negative thoughts about your age. Love can and will happen at any age, if you are open and receptive. How joyful and happy we feel is reflected in our appearance and energy level, and it is directly connected to our personal relationships. One of the great gifts I gave myself when I was single was a Caribbean Cruise. Besides pushing your limits and challenging the status quo, trying new things also presents great opportunities to meet people. Be realistic about the type of partner you see yourself with. Being over 40 is the best age to finally know what’s important in life and relationships. Schedule an evening, invite some friends over and go through magazines, finding pictures that represent the life that you want and the partner that you want. As you are out in the dating world, experiencing many different people and dating experiences, take the time to open up your journal and capture the things you like and dislike from each person you encounter.Or, you could be out on the singles scene in Atlanta, making connections as you visit the city’s numerous hot spots. I had the time of my life and actually met a few eligible gentlemen on board. If you meet someone who has the core values and character traits that are important to you, but he may be a bit shorter than your ideal, give it a chance. We can now learn from past mistakes and get it right. Men love women who are easy-going, fun and flirtatious. Sunset cruises, a couple on a beach, a loving family—whatever it is that you desire. Add to that Dream Partner List and the Partner From Hell List.